Green Acres is the place to be...you may remember the old TV series about this couple with mismatched ambitions. Those that know me and my husband well have probably thought many times...how did these two get paired together? I have learned over the years about the reality of farm life. If you were not raised on a farm or exposed to farm life you won't understand what I'm writing about...but those of you who are the wife of a farmer or were raised in the farming lifestyle you will understand this post today.

Most of you know that I am not a "hands on kind of farm wife" and in the twenty years we've lived here I have been in the barn MAYBE three times...not a big deal but luckily my husband would rather see me in fashion boots than in work boots! He is okay with my "hands off" approach to his farming...in fact he reassured me years ago that if he married a "wife" not a "farmhand"...so "whew"I am off the hook! I can do this and live here...I mean really can it be that different than living in the small town I grew up in? My town was surrounded by corn fields...most of my girlfriends lived on farms so what's the big deal? Right? Wrong...

Well here is a little check list of how you know you "might be a....FARM WIFE"...

1.You know there are two seasons...planting and harvest...oh and calving season (three).

2.You know how to bring a lunch out to the field in the pickup...and which field driveway to meet him at.

3. You know that there are Numbers to tractors and Numbers to corn seed and bean seed and whether they were a good number last year...

4. You have presided over several funeral services for the family pets buried in your grove...rest in peace Franz and Blacky!

5. You think it is perfectly normal when you live on a gravel road...to look out the window and ask "whose car just drove by" because you know the mailman already has driven by your place.

6. You have probably sat on your front porch steps with your husband in the rainstorm in mid July after 3 weeks have gone by without rain...

7. You have sat on your front porch swing watching fireflies and shooting off fireworks with your kids on July 4th!

8. You know that when your husband sends you to town for "parts" he is not going to be in a good mood that day...

9. You know the difference between Hay and Straw (this took me several years)

10. You have watched your son or daughter "show" animals at the County Fair...you also know the 4~H pledge by heart!

11. You know when your husband says the "fence is hot" that means don't go near the fence and if it's not hot he is upset that he needs to find out why?

12. You have been delayed for some appointments or family outings due to the cows being out.

13. You are not alarmed when mowing the front lawn to see that the dog has drug a dried "placenta" to your lawn...calving season!

14. You have pushed your kids on a tire swing or jumped with them on a trampoline in the front yard...

15. You have rode the 4 wheeler around the pasture or down the gravel road...for business and pleasure.

16. You know how to work a stick shift but don't claim to know well as this gets you involved in doing things you may not want to...just for emergency purposes!

17. You know what the rendering truck is for...and if it pulls in the yard don't ask what happened?!

18. You know what the "waterway" is and where to find it...

19. You have probably made out with your husband in a hayloft or in a pasture at some point in your relationship...go ahead admit it...

20.You know your husband's fantasy is for you to greet him at the door wearing nothing but a smile and to say..."honey did you hear the grains and cattle markets are up the limit today?"